


chasing all the lights

by mayahzrt



Category: La La Land (2016)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationship, F/M, Not about gosling or stone, Romantic or platonic, Unsent letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 20:25:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12066351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayahzrt/pseuds/mayahzrt
Summary: traffic and time move at different paces, they learn all too quickly





	chasing all the lights

**Author's Note:**

> not to be that person, but another day of sun was the only good part of la la land

They meet once. On a highway ramp overlooking lanes and miles of cars below. Her sunglasses are down over her eyes and the speakers blasting one of her favorite songs. She takes a sip of her iced coffee, watered down and warm, and grimaces. She shoves upward out of her seat, trying to see the traffic beyond the pickup truck in front of her. To her right is a mother, talking rapidly on her phone, fiddling with the air conditioning while two children squabble in the backseat. To her left is a man with his windows down, in a red tie, with a strong jaw and short beard. Maybe it’s the restlessness from what feels like hours of sitting in the same place or that she’s just feeling playful and silly and wants a fun story to tell, but she rolls down her window and calls out to him. He’s surprised, of course, but chuckles good-naturedly when she knocks on his music taste. She learns that he’s a lawyer, transferred by his firm to their California branch. He isn’t staying with family, but that’s alright because he likes living on his own and besides, lawyers are paid pretty well. He has one younger sister and his dark eyes light up when he talks about her. She just graduated high school and is majoring in biological engineering. She talks about herself in return and they laugh about what has to be a pile up down the ramp holding up their commute. They talk for long enough that she doesn’t realize the pickup in front of her started moving. She’s just about to ask for his number, his name even, when the cars behind slam their horns on, the blaring making her jump. She whips back to the steering wheel and presses her foot on the gas pedal. She glances back at him, an apologetic smile on her face as she tries to remember where she was heading.

The woman who talks to him on the highway ramp is beautiful. It takes him a couple seconds to register because the first thing she says to him is about the classical music he’s playing from the stereo of his car. She has a sharp nose and long hair and an inviting smile on her face. She’s wearing a yellow sundress with big dark sunglasses covering her eyes. When she takes them off he sees how round they are. She says that she’s a dancer, Juilliard-trained and staying with friends as she finishes up a round of auditions. She’s supposed to be meeting a potential talent agency today. He asks how confident she is and she lets out a bell-like laugh and says that she has a good feeling about it. She’s originally from New York with a huge family with three older brothers and cousins that come in spades. He learns that she just started watching Mad Men and that she thinks it’s only alright so far. They start to joke about the Los Angeles weather and how they really need the traffic to lighten up, they have places to be. It occurs to him suddenly that they never introduced themselves. He’s about to give her his name when the cars start moving in front of them. Someone behind them honks their horn and she jumps a mile out of her seat. He calls out to her as she’s forced forward but it’s obvious that she can’t hear him. He still smiles after her.

She goes home that night tired but optimistic. The audition finishes the following day and she hopes to all the world that it goes well. She returns to her best friend’s apartment and waits for her to come home from work. She’s a pale, wiry thing, with shock red hair cut short above her neck. Her family comes from business management and her bosses promoted her to director of human resources recently. They are opposites in almost every way. That’s why they get along so well. She regales her of the day she had, the people from the agency, the traffic, the foul smelling sandwich she had for lunch, and the attractive lawyer from the highway.

The people at his new firm are pleasant enough. They’re good at their jobs and respect him as someone who was seen as valuable enough to transfer from coast to coast. His desk is fairly simple with a drawer that sticks on top and a slightly too-small surface for his computer and papers. They have him assist with a custody dispute first. The mother and father of an eleven year old girl scream across the courtroom at each other and for a moment he can only be grateful that she’s not here to listen to it. He scribbles notes down furiously, his cheap pen scratching and tearing the paper. No matter how many of these custody cases he works, he always tries to put the child first. To do anything else would be a disservice.

Her time in LA is a doubled edged sword because she is picked up by an agency that represents dancers who actually work and are vaguely successful but loses the huge audition that brought her to the city in the first place. She doesn’t feel up to looking at the positives and is so tired of it all that she goes back to the apartment early. The day is uncharacteristically dreary with rain beginning to fall outside. She doesn’t know what compels her to start writing. It’s something she had done a lot of in high school, submitting articles and short stories to small magazines but never hearing anything back. She thinks of who to write to. It’s stupid that she remembers the man from the highway. It was weeks ago and they couldn’t have been talking for more than a half an hour. She knows in her gut that he will never read it, but writes it as if he will one day.

-  
_To the lawyer with the red tie_ , she begins.  
_Do you remember me? I’m the woman who decided to talk to you in bumper to bumper traffic. The one who said your music was so old it needed carbon dating. I said that I was feeling confident about my time in LA but I don’t feel like anything is happening. I wasn’t accepted for the audition I told you about. I don’t know who they went with but they must have something I don’t. I’ll have to keep practicing. Everything about trying to become something is frustrating._  
_Signed, Dancer and dreamer_  
-

The first real case he is assigned is a homicide. It’s an extensive, monster of a suit with him having to familiarize himself with PTSD and old precedent rulings. He only needs to find reasonable doubt as the prosecution is trying to charge first-degree murder. They say that a man was killed over a high school rivalry and a miscommunication about a job offer. His client was a Marine, claiming PTSD and insanity. He’s not sure if he believes him.

-  
_To the woman in the yellow dress_ , he writes.  
_I would like to see you again more than you can possibly imagine. I hope that doesn’t make me sound creepy. Everything here has been going fine. At my old firm, my specialty was civil cases, but I will need to learn to adapt. My parents divorced when I was nine years old. It didn’t affect my sister and me much, it was mutual and quiet. I can’t even imagine what it must be like when there’s so much shouting. But there’s still more to be done. There’s a criminal case now._  
_Signed, The man who might have to defend a killer_  
-

She continues auditioning and works on commercials when she’s lucky. When she is not, she is at a café, inhaling the scent of coffee and muffins all day. She’s usually stationed on the counter, register or as a barista. It’s not glamorous but it isn’t thankless either. One time she saw two longtime study partners finally begin dating. She gives them two free drinks that day. It is easy to feel swallowed whole by a big city. She keeps writing to the man.

His life is lonely. He doesn’t have a roommate, and despite how well he works and how the rest of the firm respects him, he doesn’t feel like he’s made any friends. They’ve asked him out for drinks on Friday nights and he takes his lunch break to eat with them occasionally, but they’re not really friends. He decides to keep hoping about the dancer in yellow.

Summer fades into autumn, though they feel little difference in temperature. She starts making pumpkin spice lattes every day, even though the smell of pumpkin is putrid and makes her gag.

Autumn and winter and mild. Instead of paying for a gym membership, he goes on early morning runs, before the sun even rises. The air is cooler then and stings his face. It wakes him up.

-  
_To the man from the highway,_  
_I’m going back to New York for the holidays. The constant sun here has made me soft and hopeful. New York is going to toughen me up again. I will be trying to get over this._  
_Signed, Juilliard trained_  
-

-  
_To the woman from the highway,_  
_I am finally taking a vacation. I’m surprised they’re letting me return home for the end of the year, but it will be good to see my family again. New York in the winter is always a comfort._  
_Signed, Not quite Ivy League_  
-

Three days before the start of the New Year’s Day she presses the walk signal at an intersection.

Four days after Christmas he waits to cross a busy street and waits for the light to change.

They almost miss each other when they pass.

**Author's Note:**

> the dancers who i based these characters on are named reshma gajjar and michael riccio. if i knew nothing about la la land before watching it i would've thought they were the main characters.
> 
> recommended listening is to whom it may concern by the civil wars


End file.
